1
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:18,151
Psst! Hey, girlie!

2
00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:20,621
Hey, girlie!

3
00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:24,691
Yeah, you.
"Girlie?"

4
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,860
Come here.
"Come here?"

5
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,196
Yeah. Come here.
I wanna talk to ya.

6
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:33,500
Can you believe that?

7
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:36,603
Aw, come on, lady.
What’s with this
snooty cutie routine?

8
00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:38,372
How much longer
you gonna play this game?

9
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:41,174
Ain’t I been trailin’
you enough the last
couple of hours?

10
00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:44,378
(CHUCKLES)
I’m gettin’ tired
of following you around.

11
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:48,815
I’m not about to let you alone
so, uh, why don’t you make it
easier on both of us, huh?

12
00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:50,651
(LAUGHING)

13
00:00:51,084 --> 00:00:52,419
A pleasure.

14
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:00,160
Good.

15
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:03,530
Oh, wonderful! Beautiful!
Absolutely great!

16
00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:05,232
Oh, what a relief.

17
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:11,138
Relief?
Oh, I couldn’t be sure until I
saw you do some witchcraft.

18
00:01:11,138 --> 00:01:15,175
Now there’s no doubt.
That’s ridiculous. There’s
no such thing as witchcraft.

19
00:01:15,175 --> 00:01:17,177
What do you call this?
Chopped liver?

20
00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:21,581
I haven’t the faintest idea
what you’re talking about.
Lady, please. I’m desperate.

21
00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:26,586
People who are desperate
do not go "psst" and call
other people "girlie."

22
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:30,624
I was resorting to charm.
That was charm?

23
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:34,861
Aw, you’re my last hope.
If you don’t help me,
I’m nowhere. So please!

24
00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:36,463
How can I help you?

25
00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:38,598
By just using
your natural talent.

26
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,600
What natural talent?

27
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,803
Being a witch.
Oh, don’t try to deny it.

28
00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:46,340
I know that you’re a witch.
What makes you so sure?

29
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:48,208
Because I’m a frog.

30
00:02:03,323 --> 00:02:06,460
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

31
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:45,499
Please, break this terrible
spell I’m under!

32
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:48,168
Remove this horrible curse!
Make my life worth
living again.

33
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,771
Turn me back into a frog.

34
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:54,007
Will you stop following me?
I told you I can’t.

35
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:58,845
Not unless I know where, when
and why someone turned you
into a human being.

36
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,180
Oh!

37
00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:05,419
How do you like this bit?
I’m suffering a fate worse
than death,

38
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:08,221
and this yo-yo wants me to
fill out a questionnaire!

39
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:12,726
Will you quit
with the fooling around and
make with the hocus-pocus?

40
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:14,961
(SIGHS)
You really are outrageous.

41
00:03:14,961 --> 00:03:18,732
As a human being, yes.
But as a frog, I’m a
sweetheart.

42
00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:22,135
Wouldn’t hurt a fly.
Eat one, yes. But hurt one?
Never!

43
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:26,473
So you’ll make like a nice
lady witch
and do the alla kazam?

44
00:03:26,473 --> 00:03:29,810
Oh, well, now, look.
I’m sorry, Mr...
Finglehoff.

45
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:32,979
Fergus F. Finglehoff.
But, uh, you can call me
Fergus.

46
00:03:32,979 --> 00:03:37,684
Well, I’m terribly sorry,
Fergus, but I couldn’t
even if I wanted to.

47
00:03:37,684 --> 00:03:40,587
I can’t unhex
another witch’s hex.
What do you mean?

48
00:03:40,587 --> 00:03:43,990
Well, only the witch
that put you under the spell
can turn you back.

49
00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:47,461
Why? Congress passed a law?
All of a sudden witches
have got a union?

50
00:03:47,461 --> 00:03:51,131
Oh, oh, it’s a rib.
You’re putting me on.

51
00:03:51,131 --> 00:03:54,768
I mean, you better be,
because I don’t know
who put the spell on me.

52
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:57,971
Oh, Fergus, now that
really is too bad.

53
00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:02,509
I’d love to help
if I could, but there’s
really nothing I could do.

54
00:04:10,817 --> 00:04:14,788
You heard? Now, don’t worry.
Don’t worry.
I’m not givin’ up.

55
00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:18,492
(CROAKS)
I will, I will.
Will ya quit hounding me?

56
00:04:18,492 --> 00:04:21,561
(CROAKS)
Okay, okay.
Back in the trunk.

57
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:23,930
(SIGHS)

58
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:33,607
All right, sweetheart.
You can play in your room,

59
00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,542
and I’ll start your dinner.

60
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,828
(PHONE RINGS)
Coming.

61
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:56,363
Oh, I’ll get it.

62
00:04:57,898 --> 00:04:59,900
Uh, hello?

63
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:03,537
Yeah, this is 555-2134.

64
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:06,907
I think this may be
for you.
May be for me!

65
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:10,143
Boy, you’ve got your nerve.
How’d you get in here?

66
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,678
Through the door.
How else?

67
00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:14,948
Uh, whom should I
say is calling?
What’s a "Darrin?"

68
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:16,983
Give me that!
DARRIN:
I demand an explanation...

69
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,986
Watch it, fella, or I won’t
even give her the message.

70
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,088
Fergus, that’s my husband!

71
00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,258
DARRIN: Sam?
Darrin?

72
00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:28,128
Sam!
Is that you?

73
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:31,097
Who was that?
Who was who?

74
00:05:31,097 --> 00:05:35,902
Oh, you mean
who answered the phone?
That who?

75
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,838
Sam, answer me!

76
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,607
Uh, is this your husband?
Yes.

77
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:43,777
Oh, how come?
Somebody put a curse
on you?

78
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:47,948
Sam, who was it?
Well, sweetheart,
it’s sort of involved

79
00:05:47,948 --> 00:05:50,483
and it would take a lot of
explanation. I’d have to go
into a lot of details

80
00:05:50,483 --> 00:05:53,420
which would just take forever,
so why don’t I wait
till you get home,

81
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:57,891
till I can think of something,
and then I’ll explain
everything.

82
00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:03,530
I demand an explanation
now! Right... This minute.
Is it okay with Sam?

83
00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:07,534
You demand?
Uh, uh, uh...

84
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:09,536
Only if it’s okay
with you, sweetheart.

85
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:12,072
Mr. Saunders and Larry
just walked in.

86
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:15,342
You remember I told you about
Mr. Saunders, our new client?

87
00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:19,479
Your favorite soup.
Uh, Saunders’ Soup?
Fifty-eight varieties?

88
00:06:19,479 --> 00:06:23,984
Fifty-nine coming up.
They wanna know
if it’s okay with you.

89
00:06:23,984 --> 00:06:28,121
If what’s okay?
She says sure.
I knew she would.

90
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:29,956
Sure what, Darrin?

91
00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:32,125
Ah, nice mud.

92
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:36,563
No pool.
Well, just as well.

93
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,898
Chlorine gives me gas.

94
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:41,601
You’re bringing Mr. Saunders
here?

95
00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:44,037
And Larry and Louise?

96
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:47,974
Uh, sweetheart, I think
you ought to know that...

97
00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:50,176
I have a problem here.

98
00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:53,613
So I gathered.
And I’m certainly anxious
to find out who it is.

99
00:06:53,613 --> 00:06:56,616
I mean, I’m anxious
to hear all about it.

100
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:59,019
So long, sweetheart.

101
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:03,623
You’re sure it’s all right?
She’s tickled to death,
and so am I.

102
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:07,127
(DOORBELL RINGS)
(GROANS)
What now?

103
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,899
Uh, Mrs. Stephens,
I thought I ought to tell ya,

104
00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:16,102
I saw a strange man
lurking around outside.

105
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:23,710
He’s lurking around inside
here, isn’t he!

106
00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:28,815
Um, this is Mr. Finglehoff.

107
00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:33,186
Fergus F. Finglehoff.
He’s a friend of Darrin’s.

108
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:37,290
Darrin’s?
Yes. He’s been
waiting for him.

109
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:41,261
He and my husband
have been working together,
haven’t you, Mr...

110
00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:46,533
Oh, I should say "professor."
Excuse me, Professor
Finglehoff.

111
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:49,469
Unfortunately the professor
can’t wait any longer.

112
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:54,040
Uh, he really must get going.
Darrin’s just going to be sick
to have missed him.

113
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:59,079
Mmm. That’s a shame.
That is the most ridiculous
nonsense I ever heard!

114
00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:01,181
I mean, you can lie all
you want about your husband,

115
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:03,750
but when you talk about me,
make it the truth!

116
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:08,888
Professor indeed! You expect
this woman to believe
a half-baked story like that?

117
00:08:08,888 --> 00:08:12,192
The truth of the matter,
madame, is that I am a frog!

118
00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:16,896
(STAMMERING) A frog?
Oh, Fergus!

119
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,732
You’d think it was
something to be ashamed of,

120
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:20,800
the way you made up
such a fantastic!

121
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:24,604
Au contraire, madam.
I am proud and happy
that I am a frog!

122
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:26,573
Fergus!
You are?

123
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:30,009
You see? She appreciates
the predicament I’m in.

124
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:32,679
I thank you for your sympathy,
madam. But if you don’t mind,

125
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,548
Mrs. Stephens and I would like
to be alone so that she can
turn me back into...

126
00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:38,385
Fergus!
Now what?
I mean, really, Sam,

127
00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:40,587
you’re getting
a little shrill, even for a...
But...

128
00:08:40,587 --> 00:08:42,822
One more word out of you
and I’ll...

129
00:08:42,822 --> 00:08:46,192
(STAMMERING) Well, good-bye,
Mr. Fergus. Mr. Frog.

130
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,995
I mean, Professor!
Good-bye!

131
00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:51,531
(SCREECHING)
Abner!
Mrs. Kravitz!

132
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:53,666
Abner! Abner!
(GROANS)

133
00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:58,438
Fergus, you know something?

134
00:08:58,438 --> 00:09:03,376
No, what?
You’re a big-mouthed frog,
that’s what you are.

135
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:07,213
A very large,
big-mouthed frog!

136
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:10,383
Maybe I can’t turn you back
into a frog, but there’s one

137
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,185
thing I can do to get
rid of you.

138
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:14,521
I can send you back
to where I found you.

139
00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:16,890
Now wait a minute, Sam.
I wouldn’t do that!

140
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:17,957
I would.

141
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,596
Now that’s what I call
dirty pool!

142
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:41,114
Well, I hope that’ll
impress Mr. Saunders.
(GASPS)

143
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:46,119
Oh, no.
Don’t worry, Sammy, girl.
If that doesn’t, I will.

144
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:49,355
What are you doing
back here?
I sloshed my way back.

145
00:09:49,355 --> 00:09:53,159
You know, I’m as fond of water
as the next frog, but I like
to be prepared for a dive.

146
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:56,763
I don’t like to be taken
by surprise.
Neither do I.

147
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,332
Hold it. I’ll only
work my way back here again.

148
00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:03,570
But this time it’ll take
longer, what
with all the stops.

149
00:10:03,570 --> 00:10:06,339
All what stops?
In the neighborhood.

150
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:09,175
I figure I’ll just spread
the good word around

151
00:10:09,175 --> 00:10:13,480
how the nice folks here
have their own personal
neighborhood witch.

152
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,282
Who’d believe you?
Oh, maybe nobody
will believe me,

153
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:20,520
but it’ll sure cause
a lot of talk. Make a lot
of trouble for you.

154
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,689
Especially if I start
with Mrs. Kravitz.

155
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:25,825
It shouldn’t be too hard
convincing her.

156
00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:29,128
We team up, we can sing
a beautiful duet.

157
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:31,731
Personally, I think we got
a possible album.

158
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:34,534
Are you trying
to blackmail me?

159
00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:36,836
Nope.
I am blackmailing you.

160
00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:39,772
I don’t blackmail
that easily.

161
00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:42,108
Honey, we’re here.

162
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:46,346
Except when my husband comes
home with a client.

163
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:48,915
Let me take your coat,
Mr. Saunders.
Thank you.

164
00:10:50,783 --> 00:10:55,288
Now, Fergus. Try
to be nice until I can think
of something to do about you.

165
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,056
Me? Charlie Charming?

166
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,495
Hi, honey.
Hi.

167
00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:07,000
This is Mr. Saunders.
Oh, Mr. Saunders.
It’s so nice to meet you.

168
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,002
We’re a big Saunders’ Soup
family here.

169
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:12,539
And your frozen dinners?
Marvelous. So tasty.

170
00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:15,775
And your sauces,
your chili sauce!

171
00:11:15,775 --> 00:11:18,945
And your mustard.
It’s the greatest mustard.

172
00:11:18,945 --> 00:11:20,713
Let’s see.
Have I forgotten anything?

173
00:11:20,713 --> 00:11:25,251
Well, not that I know of!
Perhaps only
one small item, dear.

174
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,554
What?

175
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:30,557
The gentleman standing there.
I don’t think we caught
his name.

176
00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:33,259
Oh, forgive me.
How could I?

177
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:35,595
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Oh, that must be Larry
and Louise.

178
00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:37,830
Make yourself comfortable,
Mr. Saunders.

179
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:40,433
Well, just show me where
the bar is, and I will!

180
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:45,305
Oh, Louise, Larry.
Come on in.

181
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:48,374
Darrin, it’s Larry
and Louise.
I know. We’ve met.

182
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:52,512
You know Mr. Saunders,
of course.
Yes, yes.

183
00:11:52,512 --> 00:11:56,649
Oh, good, Darrin.
You brought the new
layouts for the soup.

184
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,818
Well, uh, Larry, Louise,

185
00:11:58,818 --> 00:12:02,789
Mr. Saunders, Darrin,
get set.

186
00:12:02,789 --> 00:12:04,791
I have a little surprise
for you.

187
00:12:04,791 --> 00:12:06,659
Will you hurry up?
He’s liable to be gone.

188
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:10,263
If only you’d been home
when I got home, we could’ve
gone back then and there.

189
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:15,034
But no, you had to be at the
dentist, wasting precious
time, having a tooth pulled.

190
00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:18,938
Now look, Gladys. I’d rather
have a tooth pulled than go
out looking at frogs with you.

191
00:12:18,938 --> 00:12:20,807
Call me peculiar!

192
00:12:23,209 --> 00:12:26,779
There he is!
He’s a human frog!

193
00:12:26,779 --> 00:12:28,748
What?
What’d she call me?

194
00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:33,586
A human frog.
You said the bar was this way?
Sam, what’s going on?

195
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,488
He’s a human frog!

196
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:39,125
Gladys, will you please
not get hysterical?
Darrin, what is this?

197
00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:41,894
Larry. Shh. Obviously
there’s some mistake.

198
00:12:41,894 --> 00:12:44,831
Why, I should hope so!
Sam, in the name of...

199
00:12:44,831 --> 00:12:47,500
Let me hear you deny it.

200
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:51,537
Deny that you came right out
and told me that you were
a human frog.

201
00:12:56,142 --> 00:12:59,779
I will indeed.
I never for an instant said
that I was a human frog.

202
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:04,917
I deny that, all right.
I deny it categorically,
emphatically and intramurally.

203
00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:08,021
Satisfied, Mrs. World Champ
Official Butt-In Artist?

204
00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,089
No!

205
00:13:10,089 --> 00:13:13,459
Well, why would anyone
be saying that
anybody was a human frog?

206
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:18,631
Unless, of course, they were
drinking. Speaking of drink...
Good point, sir.

207
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:23,102
Actually, the last thing
any frog worth his salt
would want to be is human.

208
00:13:23,102 --> 00:13:26,339
What was your name
again?
What was your name again?

209
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:30,076
I was just about
to introduce everybody
when the Kravitz’s came in.

210
00:13:30,076 --> 00:13:33,112
I realize how you could’ve
gotten the wrong impression.

211
00:13:33,112 --> 00:13:36,949
Here she goes again.
Always an explanation.

212
00:13:36,949 --> 00:13:39,052
I was wondering when
you were gonna notice that.

213
00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:41,688
I’m sure it’s a good one.

214
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:45,124
The professor has been doing
research and experiments.

215
00:13:45,124 --> 00:13:48,127
Research, experiments?
Uh, professor of what?

216
00:13:48,127 --> 00:13:50,563
Professor Fergus Finglehoff.

217
00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:52,732
From one of your schools?

218
00:13:52,732 --> 00:13:56,736
No, no, dear.
From one of yours.
Don’t you remember?

219
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:58,271
Which one was that?

220
00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:03,743
I must have a mental block.

221
00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:07,914
I went to Dartmouth.
We drank a lot there.

222
00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:12,351
Anyway, the professor did
say that he was interested in
frogs.

223
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:13,853
Oh, sure.

224
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,955
No, that part
is definitely true.

225
00:14:15,955 --> 00:14:19,926
Anyway, the professor’s been
doing some special research
on them.

226
00:14:19,926 --> 00:14:21,761
Well, I’ll buy that.

227
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:26,232
So you must have misunderstood
and thought he said
he was one.

228
00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:29,135
That’s strange.
That isn’t. She is.

229
00:14:30,336 --> 00:14:32,939
Say, why don’t we have
a drink on that?

230
00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:37,643
Sorry, Mrs. Stephens.
Oh, don’t apologize,
Mr. Kravitz. No harm done.

231
00:14:37,643 --> 00:14:42,982
Oh, speak for yourself, Sam.
I’m all shook up! I wouldn’t
call a dog a human frog.

232
00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:46,686
Come on, Gladys.
Someday, somehow, someplace,

233
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:49,322
somebody’s gonna believe me!

234
00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:52,859
That poor woman!
She is a bit spooky.

235
00:14:52,859 --> 00:14:56,829
Uh, Larry, why don’t you do
the honors and fix everybody
a drink?

236
00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:59,232
Say, that’s a good idea.
Sure, Darrin.

237
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,933
I’ll help Sam
in the kitchen.

238
00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:05,037
What’s yours,
Professor?
What’s my what?

239
00:15:05,037 --> 00:15:06,572
I’ll have a double anything.

240
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:14,881
He is a frog.
Uh-huh.

241
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:17,483
Sam, make it reasonable!

242
00:15:17,483 --> 00:15:20,353
Well, Darrin, you remember the
fairy tale about the princess

243
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:23,289
that put a frog on her
pillow, and the next morning
when she woke up,

244
00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:25,258
he’d turned into
a handsome prince?

245
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:28,661
Mmm-hmm.
Well, it’s the same thing,
only in reverse.

246
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:32,064
I’ll bet the princess’s mother
and father didn’t believe
that story either.

247
00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:34,834
Oh, Darrin. Now,
he can cause trouble.

248
00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:37,904
We’ll have to go along with
him until I can think of
something to do.

249
00:15:37,904 --> 00:15:42,408
And it’s dangerous to leave
him out there with the others
too long.

250
00:15:42,408 --> 00:15:46,145
FERGUS:
You take it from me, buster.
The frogs have it made.

251
00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:49,315
I’m telling you,
frogs know how to live.

252
00:15:49,315 --> 00:15:51,517
Now, Professor,
let’s not talk shop.

253
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:55,421
About your soup,
Mr. Saunders, didn’t I hear
something about a new one?

254
00:15:55,421 --> 00:15:58,825
Yes, indeed.
Fifty-nine coming up.

255
00:15:58,825 --> 00:16:04,197
Congratulations.
What kind is number 59?
I haven’t heard.

256
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:06,966
Nobody’s heard.
Happens to be a big secret.

257
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:11,637
We’re gonna spring it next
month with the layouts
Darrin’s been working on.

258
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:17,076
Terrific. Think for a minute.
Have you ever seen a frog
on an analyst’s couch?

259
00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:20,980
Sober? No.
Please, Professor.
No more about frogs.

260
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,648
Did you ever hear of
a frog war?

261
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:27,119
Frog war?
Nobody’s ever heard of
a frog war. Darrin.

262
00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:29,288
About soup, Mr. Saunders...

263
00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:32,058
Uh, Sam, I think we’ve heard
enough about soup, too.

264
00:16:32,058 --> 00:16:35,261
Oh, darling, don’t be
ridiculous. I’m just dying
to hear all about it!

265
00:16:35,261 --> 00:16:38,264
Uh, no, Sam.
What’s number 59 going to
be?

266
00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:40,499
Sam, it’s a secret!
A good secret.

267
00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:42,802
Wouldn’t you rather
hear about frogs?

268
00:16:42,802 --> 00:16:46,005
No. Mr. Saunders?
Sam!

269
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:50,476
Okay, I’ll tell.
Turtle.

270
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:52,044
Huh?

271
00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:56,115
Turtle soup.
That’s number 59.

272
00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:58,951
Saunders’ Sauteed Turtle Soup.

273
00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:01,220
You’re gonna make soup
out of turtles?

274
00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:03,022
Yeah.
Anything wrong with that?

275
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:06,492
Well, it all depends.
Do they happen to be
any turtles I know?

276
00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:11,264
I think I need
another drink.

277
00:17:12,798 --> 00:17:16,969
Tony Terwilliger,
Tubby Sloan or Tiny Tuner?
Because if they are...

278
00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:18,638
(WHISPERS)
Sam, do something.

279
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:32,151
Some frogs never learn.

280
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,623
I still don’t like the idea of
going to dinner without you.

281
00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:40,693
Oh, that’s all right.
I’m sure there’s a bar
at the restaurant.

282
00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:44,163
Well, we can’t very well
leave the professor.
He was so embarrassed.

283
00:17:44,163 --> 00:17:47,900
He certainly disappeared.
Did you see the way he
flew up those stairs?

284
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,303
No.
Neither did I.

285
00:17:50,303 --> 00:17:54,106
You missed that?
So did I. But I don’t mind.

286
00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:56,175
Say, what time do the bars
close around here?

287
00:17:56,175 --> 00:18:00,646
Really, Samantha.
Do you have to stay home and
baby-sit with the professor?

288
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:05,184
Uh, well, since Aunt Clara
didn’t show up to baby-sit
with Tabatha,

289
00:18:05,184 --> 00:18:07,119
we really should stay home.

290
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:10,656
I don’t think that the
professor is the baby-sitting
type, do you?

291
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:13,092
Frankly, I didn’t figure out
his type at all.

292
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,328
See you tomorrow, Darrin.
Good night, Sam.
Good night, Samantha.

293
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:19,131
I want you to know that I’ve
had a perfectly bourbon time.

294
00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:21,233
Good night.

295
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,737
Whew.

296
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:28,040
What are you doing?
I am praying that Fergus

297
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,542
doesn’t come up and
run into them.

298
00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:31,777
You check the back way.
See if he’s there.

299
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:41,821
(CROAKS)
Yeah, I told you,
I’m doing everything I can

300
00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:44,256
but she keeps zapping me
back into that fountain.

301
00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:46,258
(WHISPERS)
Sam!

302
00:18:48,194 --> 00:18:51,197
Fergus?
By the gazebo.

303
00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:59,338
(CROAKING)
Phoebe,
will you shut up and listen?

304
00:18:59,338 --> 00:19:02,875
Believe me, pussycat,
I’ve been after her all day.

305
00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:08,047
Is it my fault if I end up
with a musical-comedy witch,
a rank amateur?

306
00:19:08,047 --> 00:19:10,950
I know I shouldn’t
have done it.

307
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:14,053
I admit it. I made the
biggest mistake of my life.

308
00:19:14,053 --> 00:19:16,689
What mistake, Fergus?

309
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:20,393
Why don’t you come inside
and bring Phoebe with you?

310
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:22,561
I’d like to hear about
your mistake.

311
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:25,331
(CROAKS)

312
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:28,634
And this is my girlfriend,
Phoebe Plotsky.

313
00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:31,604
Oh, well.
How do you do?
(CROAKS)

314
00:19:31,604 --> 00:19:36,909
Have you been carrying Phoebe
in your pocket all this time?
Mmm-hmm.

315
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:39,578
Oh, poor Fergus.

316
00:19:39,578 --> 00:19:42,314
Poor Phoebe.

317
00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:47,353
Honey, I know you can’t turn
Fergus back into a frog,
but couldn’t you...

318
00:19:48,587 --> 00:19:51,157
Change Phoebe into
a human being!

319
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:54,627
Oh, darling,
that’s a marvelous idea!
What do you say, Phoebe?

320
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:57,196
(CROAKS)
Oh, good! Fergus?

321
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,565
Anything! As long as
we’re together.

322
00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,968
All right now, Phoebe.
You just sit right there.

323
00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:05,071
Sit there.
(CROAKS)

324
00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:08,941
Spirit of the grinch and grebe
make a lady out of Phoebe.

325
00:20:17,683 --> 00:20:19,885
Fergus!
Oh, Fergus!

326
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:21,520
Oh, Phoebe, baby, sweetie!

327
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,757
Oh, you’ll never know
how much I...

328
00:20:26,992 --> 00:20:30,329
Hey! Sam!

329
00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:32,665
What’s the matter?

330
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:35,835
Sam, I don’t wanna hurt
your feelings, but you
goofed!

331
00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:38,504
Goofed?
Sam goofed?

332
00:20:38,504 --> 00:20:41,040
Well, look at her.
I mean she’s definitely

333
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,708
lost something in the
transformation.

334
00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:45,277
She was
a sensational-looking frog!

335
00:20:45,277 --> 00:20:48,214
But how can I ask her to go
through life looking like
this?

336
00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:52,518
Where’s her nice big fat
neck? And look at those
little beady eyes.

337
00:20:52,518 --> 00:20:54,620
And you call those legs?

338
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:57,756
Oh, why did I ever make
that wish in the first place!

339
00:20:57,756 --> 00:21:01,760
What wish?
Tell her, Fergus.

340
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:05,764
Well, I heard about this old
witch over near the swamp.

341
00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:09,368
So I went over and asked...
Asked? He hocked
everything he owned,

342
00:21:09,368 --> 00:21:11,537
his lily pad,
his underwater gear.

343
00:21:11,537 --> 00:21:13,272
FERGUS:
Okay, so I bought a wish.

344
00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,474
I wanted to be human.

345
00:21:15,474 --> 00:21:20,146
I was a big frog in a little
pool who thought he could be
a bigger one in a bigger pool.

346
00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:22,181
The only thing is,
I forgot about Phoebe.

347
00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:26,952
It never occurred to me that
if I were turned into a human,
I’d be without her.

348
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:30,923
Fergus, if you bought a wish
and brought all this on
yourself,

349
00:21:30,923 --> 00:21:32,725
then there’s no problem.

350
00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:37,096
Any witch can unhex that kind
of a hex. Why didn’t you tell
me that in the beginning?

351
00:21:37,096 --> 00:21:39,465
Well, I didn’t think you’d
want to help me if you knew

352
00:21:39,465 --> 00:21:43,402
what a no-good disgrace
to the amphibian world I was.

353
00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:46,939
Sam, you mean you can
turn him back into a frog?

354
00:21:46,939 --> 00:21:50,042
Certainly,
if that’s what he wants.
How about it, Fergus?

355
00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:54,346
You mean we’ve got a choice?
Phoebe, we’ve got a choice!

356
00:21:54,346 --> 00:21:56,148
You want a little time
to think it over?

357
00:21:56,148 --> 00:22:01,086
Yeah. Just once in my life,
I wanna look before I leap.

358
00:22:09,962 --> 00:22:11,797
Okay, Sam.

359
00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:15,768
Well, have you
made up your mind?
Uh-huh.

360
00:22:15,768 --> 00:22:18,837
But first off,
I gotta be honest.

361
00:22:18,837 --> 00:22:23,742
Why, you didn’t goof.
She’s sensational-looking
in either world.

362
00:22:23,742 --> 00:22:26,579
That’s why I insisted that
Phoebe make the decision.

363
00:22:26,579 --> 00:22:28,914
Well, what’s it gonna be,
Phoebe?

364
00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:31,417
Yeah, come on.
We can’t stand the suspense.

365
00:22:31,417 --> 00:22:33,986
Well, we wanna go back.

366
00:22:33,986 --> 00:22:36,989
Oh, I’m glad.
Because you know something,
Fergus?

367
00:22:36,989 --> 00:22:41,994
I have the feeling that deep
in your heart, you are first,
last and always a frog.

368
00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:43,596
(CHUCKLES)

369
00:22:44,897 --> 00:22:49,468
So, uh, all right already.
Will you make with
the hocus-pocus?

370
00:22:49,468 --> 00:22:53,606
Oh. From polliwogs
come great big frogs,
we’ll never know quite how.

371
00:22:53,606 --> 00:22:56,642
It’s easier to turn a bee
into a purple cow.

372
00:22:56,642 --> 00:22:59,478
So hark ye witches,
now pay heed.

373
00:22:59,478 --> 00:23:02,314
Reverse this spell
with haste and speed.

374
00:23:02,314 --> 00:23:04,583
With no regrets,
man into toad.

375
00:23:04,583 --> 00:23:07,553
He’ll hop the straight
and narrow road.

376
00:23:11,023 --> 00:23:13,425
(CROAKING)

377
00:23:18,697 --> 00:23:21,767
Ha.
Well, so long, kids.
Been nice meeting you.

378
00:23:21,767 --> 00:23:25,304
Oh, it certainly has.
Oops!

379
00:23:25,304 --> 00:23:28,173
Don’t forget to write.
(CROAK)

380
00:23:29,908 --> 00:23:34,313
Why, Mrs. Kravitz.
I came to apologize
for seeing frogs.

381
00:23:34,313 --> 00:23:37,049
But what am I
seeing now?

382
00:23:37,049 --> 00:23:40,753
Oh, these are our friends.
We were just saying
good night to them.

383
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,657
Bye-bye, Phoebe.
Bye, Fergus.

384
00:23:44,657 --> 00:23:47,159
(CROAKING)
DARRIN: Give our love
to Tony, Tubby and Tiny.

385
00:23:47,159 --> 00:23:49,361
That’s Fergus?

386
00:23:49,361 --> 00:23:52,431
No, that’s Fergus.
That’s Phoebe.

387
00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:55,501
(STAMMERING)
But, they’re frogs!

388
00:23:55,501 --> 00:23:58,971
Well, of course they are.
Any reason why they
shouldn’t be?

389
00:23:58,971 --> 00:24:00,572
Oh. No.

390
00:24:02,541 --> 00:24:05,444
Abner! Abner! Abner!

391
00:24:06,045 --> 00:24:08,414
Mmm.
What?

392
00:24:08,414 --> 00:24:12,851
I don’t know.
Just seems to me I’ve
heard that scream before.

393
00:24:13,385 --> 00:24:15,954
(BOTH CROAKING)

394
00:24:15,954 --> 00:24:19,491
Ain’t love grand?
In any language.

395
00:24:22,661 --> 00:24:23,962
(IMITATING CROAKING)

396
00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:28,133
(CHUCKLES)

397
00:24:29,501 --> 00:24:31,637
(BOTH LAUGHING)

398
00:24:41,613 --> 00:24:44,550
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)